Let Me Count the Ways

Over the vacation, a few benevolent comments about Scott had me clenching my teeth. Apparently, the impression both he and I have given to others has shown him as inactive and too laid back for his and my own good. While there is partial truth in those generalizations, they do not characterize the man fully. I blame myself for this, as often people only hear from me about the times I'm frustrated with him, for the most part.

I love this man. Why? The number one reason is that he loves me unfalteringly, and without conditions of any kind. I know from experience that this is not only difficult to find in life, but also to be cherished. I used to smoke, he doesn't. Though he would lovingly and teasingly tell me I needed to quit, it was never a requirement for our continued relationship. This allowed me to come to the decision to quit on my own, and I have no fear that if I were to fall off the wagon that he would be nonsupporting. I drink on occasion, he does not. Not only does that not bother him, but he even tried a drink of Champagne with me over New Year's despite his fear of alcoholism. I generally don't think of myself as attractive, which drives him crazy (or at least the closest to being driven crazy that he ever gets), yet he is amazingly reassuring and patient with my insecurities considering his lack of experience in the relationship venue. A while back I used to do this completely silly thing where I would ask him an absurd question in this formula "If I...would you still love me?" For example, "If I had three breasts, would you still love me?" Some of them were so absurd that it was easy for him to say "of course, I would still love you," with no fear of ever having to prove that in the future. However, some of the more realistic ones, I was touched by how easily and sincerely he responded with a yes. Not because he said yes, or I expect him to ever prove it, but because I believe it to be true. I believe that he will love me for who I am as long as I am always true to him and honest with him.

I love him also because he can be endearingly sweet, if dorky while doing so. He is at his sweetest when he is groggy and doesn't guard himself before he speaks. I won't nauseate you with specifics about his sweetness, but know it is there.

I love him because he is always up for anything I want to do, and often what he hasn't realized he wants to do. This is where the hackles came up regarding the inactivity comment. Left to his own devices, he will often choose inactivity because it's there in front of him. However, when given the option, he will not shy away from activity. For example, when he was taking his walking class, he went above and beyond what he had to do. He pushed himself just beyond what he had to do and made it what he wanted to do for himself. Also, when planning our stay in Boston, I have mentioned a dozen or more possible activities, and only one has he said he isn't interested in, and that was the Duck tours, which, after my Hot Springs encounter with Duck tours, I don't even want to try in Boston. He hasn't been camping in years, but thinks that it would be fun to camp with me. Basically, unless I ask him to go shoe shopping with me, 95 percent of the time, he won't hesitate to say yes and to enjoy whatever we do. I strive to be the same in return.

I love him because he is smart. Sure, sometimes his area of focus bores me, but I'm trying to be better about listening and finding ways to understand what he's talking about, because he strives to be interested in my job and life. I just love that I have a smart boyfriend.

I love him because friends are so important to him. He has close and easy relationships with his friends. They all have clearly defined boundaries, but within those boundaries, those friends would do anything for one another. Every time he helps a friend move, he says that it's the last time. But he can't say no just because he remembers how sore his arms or back were after the last time.

There are thousands of other reasons to love him, but I will stop with that for right now. I think that acceptance has finally set in.

Vacation Home

My family and I took a vacation this weekend. We trekked down to Hot Springs, Arkansas, and enjoyed not only the stay, but the travels as well. One of the best things about the trip was the beautiful places we saw and the beautiful place we stayed in. Now, the house hasn't been decorated since 1972, I'm sure. There was wallpaper everywhere. 197o's era wallpaper. Not the most attractive decor, but the house was clean and roomy, and well supplied. We ate out twice, instead of our intended once, but that was mostly because mom and dad paid for dinner one night and the lunch we ate out was after Pieces banged his head on the pontoon boat. Most of the meals, however, we cooked at the house. It was a nice getaway for an amazingly affordable price. So, my plug is: if you're going to go to Hot Springs, rent a house in Hot Springs Village (which is actually not in Hot Springs, strangely enough).

But that's not really what I want to write about. I want to write about arriving at home. I'm sitting out on my back deck and looking out at the foliage around me, looking into my house, and thinnking that it really is a fabulous place for a vacation. As gorgeous as it was in Hot Springs, it is equally as beautiful in my backyard. My house would really be ideal for a vacation rental. Apparently my parents agree, because they are going to vacation at my house while I'm vacationing in Boston and New Hampshire.

Scott and I were talking about the possibility of me staying the summer with him next summer if I don't end up moving anyway. So, this morning I thought of how cool it would be to be able to rent my house out to vacationers while I was away. Now, I probably wouldn't ever do it because A) It's obviously more of a hassle than my idealistic vision allows me to ponder, and B) my cats. But it is really nice to think that I can think of my house as an ideal place for people to vacation.

So, now I'm thinking of my summer as one long series of vacations. Isn't that fabulous?

Dinner with Friends

Yesterday.

Yesterday was a combination of fun, frustration, and realization. I had planned to have a dinner party. 8 people had RSVP'd and two had said that they didn't know if they would be able to make it, but might stop by. So, brilliant me, I spent Friday night installing a ceiling fan, and did none of the cooking or the cleaning. I also had agreed to watch my student's baby boy while he and another student raked my yard. Now, mind you, I'm used to watching Jane's son, who is very low maintenance 95% of the time. I'm also used to my Nephew who, while not low maintenance, is at an age where he can be entertained by the task you are working on. So, while I had anticipated not being able to get very much done, I had not counted on not being able to get anything done at all.

I think the problem lies in the "child of teenage parents" arena. He can't fall asleep unless someone's holding him, and he wants to be held almost 24/7. If you set him down in his playpen--screaming. If you set him on the floor--screaming. I'm not talking baby crying that's a little hard to take because they sound so heartbroken. I mean are-the-police-going-to-stop-by-any-minute-to-see-if-I'm-abusing-him screaming. So, I literally got nothing done, and my arms hurt from holding him for 3 hours straight.

Then I fed the boys. After they were done eating, I thought they'd leave. Noooooo. They sat in my house and chit chatted like they were Mabel and Petunia down at the local feed store. I thought they were never going to leave. So, by two o'clock, I still had to vacuum, clean the bathroom, wash and dry the tablecloth, and do all of the cooking. I was stressed.

I'll tell you, I was beating myself up in my head. Why did I even decide to host this stupid dinner party? Why didn't I just tell the boys to rake next week when he didn't have his baby? Why didn't I do more before they came to rake? Friday?

Thank goodness for Jennifer. She really was a lifesaver. She came in and started doing the time-consuming task of chopping. Now, I didn't get done on time, and my kitchen looked like a miniature tornado had hit it, but we had dinner by 7 pm, and they had been sitting and eating appetizers and drinking wine for the hour that I worked on the pork chops and finishing the salad.

Here was the menu:
relish tray with hummus and cilantro dip
apple and goat cheese bruschetta on french bread (get the recipe from me...you'll love it)
12-hour salad
Maple and mustard glazed pork chops (oh my god, yum)
prosciutto wrapped asparagus with mock hollandaise sauce
Jane's trifle with home-picked blackberries

Even though there were only 6 of us, it was so much fun. First of all, everyone loved my food. If you don't know this about me already, I love to cook for people, and there are very few things that make me feel better than watching someone enjoy a meal I've cooked. They also loved my house and the planting I had done. Betty and Jennifer found out that Jennifer's brother was one of Betty's college students, and one of her favorites. Small world, huh? Everyone was joking and having a blast, and nobody wanted to go home when they decided they had to.

Now, it's Sunday morning, and Flylady is beckoning me to do my dishes. I just couldn't last night. Not even my stove top got cleaned last night, and I never leave that dirty. I woke up aching from the top of my head down to my heels. I'm just going to have to do the dishes 15 minutes at a time.

I shoule have more weekends like this. Well, almost like this.

The tables have turned

See that photo collage/painting? My mom created that. Not only did she create it, but she won first prize in an art contest. I am so incredibly proud of her. She took two art forms she's worked on developing and she combined them to create what I consider her best piece of art to date. It's kind of nice to be the one being proud rather than the one having pride bestowed upon her. Kudos, Mom.

On a side note, I made the most delicious veggie burgers tonight.

1 medium potato
1 medium carrot
1 small zucchini
1/4 cup onion
tomato bullion to taste
montreal chicken seasoning to taste
1/2 cup egg substitute

Grate all the veggies and add the seasoning and egg. I used the foreman grill, but they'd probably be easier to take off of a flat skillet. It looks like there's too much egg, but really there is not. It really keeps the burger together as much as they can be kept together. It's yummy. Try it. You'll like it. And if you do it as six servings then you're looking at 50 calories a burger. Can't beat that, I say.

Flowers, and hummus, and herbs...Oh my!

This weekend has been not only productive, but very uplifting. I spent the week whittling away on my house, and while there are still things that can be done, overall, my house is exceptionally clean, comfortable, and peaceful. Really, in the end, aren't we all looking for a little peace. Perhaps our forefathers were in pursuit of happiness, but I'd say that if you pursue a peaceful lifestyle, happiness will follow. Have I gotten too Ms. America candidate for you yet? If so, stop reading.

Here is what I have gotten accomplished this weekend.

First of all, I got my bedroom rearranged. I got the dresser out of my closet and into the bedroom, got the bookshelf moved, and moved all the plastic into my closet. Dad finished up the edge tiles in the closet for me, since I never got around to it.

I cooked. I made maple and mustard glazed steak for supper on Friday with hummus and all the dippers as a side. Mom made the asparagus fritatta for breakfast, I made apple chicken gouda sausages for lunch with (surprise!) hummus and pita bread for lunch. Supper was chicken shawarma with artichoke. Let's talk about artichoke. When I was younger, mom always melted butter and threw toasted breadcrumbs into it to dip our artichoke in. Why did we do this? Artichoke is quite yummy on its own. So yummy, in fact, that I got another one, and it's quite possible that my dinner tonight will be a veggie burger and a whole artichoke. On the down side, artichokes are the crab of the vegetable world. Oh so good, but so much work for so little product, you know? It's worth it, though, more so than crab, even. Back to the weekend menu...For dessert I made chocolate chip banana muffins. They were very yummy, and not that bad for you. I still want to eat all of them in one sitting, though. I'm going to have to be very good.

I measured this week, and in three weeks I have lost 2.5 inches in my waist. Isn't that something? The funny thing is that I lost only.25 inches in my hips. I don't know how you even that all out, but I've got to try.

Mostly this weekend, though, we did yard work. While Mom and Dad were here we did a lot of raking, "mowing," and moving wood. You wouldn't believe the huge amounts of wood that Willis left here when he moved out. I'm going to have to remember to bring the logs camping with me so that we don't have to buy firewood, but I assume I'd have to cut it, and I don't know if you know this, but I shouldn't ever be trusted with an ax. No, really, it's true. I might cut my foot off. Then camping wouldn't be nearly as much fun. After the rents left, I went to Lowe's and got some plants. I'm attaching pictures of what I've bought and planted. If anyone knows what the yellow flower is, please let me know because I am at a loss as they did not label it.

Now I have to go cook...again.

The Educational Hazards of Snow

The snow day bill is, as far as I know, sitting on Mr. Blunt's desk right now, just calling out to be signed. He may have signed it already, but that was the last news I heard today. The sticking point here is that once he signs it, we still have to play the waiting game, and I don't know if you know this about me or not, but I'm not very good at waiting. We have to wait for the Superintendent to contact DESE to make sure that the interpretation of the bill matches our greatest wishes. Then we have to wait for her to contact my immediate boss, and for him to contact us.

Something you probably don't know about these two people is that their idea of effective and immediate communication does not align with my definition. I anticipate having to wait until Friday or Monday to hear, and while that doesn't seem like a long time, one must remember that we've been waiting since February to find out.

Where's the big problem in all of this? Let's start off with a year fraught with change, add a criminally irresponsible coach to that, and then a great deal of uncertainty regarding the validation of our get out of jail free card. We're a cranky bunch, educators. And maybe you remember your high school teachers when they were cranky. It's not a pretty sight.

But the real problem doesn't lie in our crankiness. It lies in the adapting to ever changing last day dates. There is a huge difference between the final that was supposed to be given on the 17th and the one that might have been given on the 29th. That's three weeks of learning. So, even though we were supposed to give finals on the 16th and 17th, now that it's the 17th and 18th, we feel rushed. Our plans have been so up in the air that many of us just planned on the 29th as an end date. Back to the drawing board.

But back to the crankiness. Today, one of the teachers I work with came into the teacher's lounge ten minutes before the end of the day and our planning period. She sighed and huffed as soon as she saw me, almost simultaneously. Then she starts snarking about how she uses every minute of her planning period and some people just sit on their asses during theirs. Passive-aggressive much?

Instead of outlining the good 75 minutes of work that I did in my 90 minute plan period, and explaining that I had finished everything I could do in that period and I deserved a break, I simply said the following: I'm sorry you feel that way, but think of it this way, if a person accomplishes what they need to accomplish in their planning period and have time left over at the end of the period, then they can reward themselves with some down time. It's your choice not to allot downtime for yourself.

Her response was a diatribe about how she doesn't have a night to herself this week. She has to teach the night course (that she chose to teach), has to go to her son's track meet, has to go to her daughter's ice cream social, and other time-consuming aspects of parenthood. I get it. The last thing I want to do tonight is have to watch a bunch of kids run in circles or throw sticks into the air. But I take issue with the automatic assumption that my life is easier or less laden with have-tos because I don't have children. Let's face it, this is the woman who runs key club, which does after school activities eight days out of the week, and teaches a two hour night course one night a week, and she's talking to the drama teacher and forensics coach (who also likes to imagine that she has a life). It may not come out completely balanced on the scales, but I bet you it comes pretty close.

That pretty much pissed me off just as much as the email I got today that suggests that the reasons students and teachers get shot in schools is because that tricky government doesn't let schools become a place of Christian learning.

It's amazing that I have all this maddening stuff running through my mind, and yet I'm still pretty jovial right now.

Stupid Human Tricks

I go through these phases. I get really good at keeping my house neat on a regular basis, and then I get to a point where I'm cleaning every weekend and a tad pissed at myself for having to do so, and then I get to the point where "tomorrow" is always the day that I'm going to make my home shine. The funny thing about tomorrow is that when you get to it, it's today, and the next day is tomorrow. Strange, but that's how this temporal thing works.

Now, I don't think that I'm particularly dirty very often at all, but the house will get to a point of clutter that is so overwhelming that I start imagining that I can see the surfaces underneath just to avoid the where-to-start dilemma. Once I finally attack it, and have one space to the point at which I question whether or not it's really my house I'm standing in, I start wondering why I keep thinking that it's all that hard to devote a little time to making my house not just livable, but consistently attractive and comfortable.

So, for the eight hundredth time since adulthood struck, I'm going to resolve to be consistent in my housekeeping habits. Habit. It has to become habit. So, as silly as it might sound, I'm going to finally try http://www.flylady.net as a guide. Some of her stuff is silly and all about getting your house clean by loving yourself and dressing first thing in the morning down to lace up shoes. Ok, so I don't wear lace up shoes but maybe twice a month, and I'm not going to start in the hopes that it will get my house cleaner. But some of her tips are pretty good. I particularly like the 27 fling boogie (I wish she wouldn't be so damned cutesy, but what can you do?): as quickly as you can you find 27 things to throw away and get them in your outdoor trash can or dumpster, and then you find 27 things to give away and you put them in a box in your car. I don't know how often she has you doing this, but I know that would help me out, even if I just stockpiled the 27 giveaway items for yard sales.

I don't know if this is just stupid to try, but I'm tired of going through this every four to six months. I'm willing to participate in stupid human tricks if it gets me into a habit.

And just for Madison...I'll refrain from talking about all that sex stuff I was going to type.